Sunday, November 29, 2009

Three Toes & The Truth

What kind of madness is the Sloth? Easy to dismiss as a woebegone carny-dog with only comedic value to modern society.Take a moment though and consider this. In a world obsessed with going faster (often in reverse) and filling each minute with
more useless information and bull-shittery, the Sloth has a different approach. When it got shitty on the ground, they got the fuck off it and headed for the trees.
They’ve adopted a “browsing” lifestyle, preferring to keep decisions to a minimum and keeping things EASY. They move only when they really have to, climbing down from the trees once a week to take a crap and have a piss. Man that appeals to me.
Fashion means nothing to them and rather than standing out, a Sloth is happier to blend in and avoid attraction, concentrating more on the important stuff - like eating. Remember friends, as much as two thirds of a well fed Sloth’s body weight consists of the contents of its stomach. Then, from the departure lounge they deliver the biggest FUCK-YOU to the rest of the world and remain hanging from branches after death. Slacker Mausoleum - brilliant. So when it all gets too much, when you want to kick the TV screen in because you’ve just taken the last thirty second advertising ass-fuck you can bare, when you’re sick to your tits of rushing for the bus, working for the boss and listening to the cock-knocker who’s explaining how you should/could be living, sit back good friends and ask yourself “what would a Sloth do?” You’ll be feeling better in no time!


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